When my husband started pursuing me, he was fresh off the mission field. He had hardly any money and no car. Some might have though me foolish for entering into a relationship with a man in that circumstance. In fact, even I wondered at first if I might be foolish for wanting to a date a man in his position- after all, growing up I always heard the advice, "don't date potential!"
He may not have had much money to his name, but you know what he did have? One of the strongest work ethics I had ever seen. A vision for where he wanted to be in the future, and a plan he was already implementing in order to get there. He had solid godly character that was without reproach. And he treated me with the utmost respect.
When I started dating him, I knew I was dating "potential." But it was the best kind of potential - a godly man striving to achieve his vision. I was beyond excited to get to be along for the ride and watch him continue to develop into all that God had made him to be!
Now every day I have the joy of still watching the "potential" I married continue to grow into a better and better man.
Tim Keller said it best when he said this of marriage:
"It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say, 'I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to His throne."
So sister, actually you should date potential. Everyone who is in a relationship is dating potential, whether they realize it or not. What matters is what type of potential you choose to date.
Don't date a bad man with the potential to become good. Date a good man with the potential to become even better. Don't date the guy who isn't being what he should be, believing that you're going to help him change (spoiler alert: you're not). Date the man who is already being what he's supposed to be, because he will only continue to grow with you by his side. Date the man who isn't perfect, but he's on the upright way. He's growing, he's seeking counsel, and striving to become the best man he can be. He is good potential.
The right potential is the good man who has the potential to become a great man. The wrong potential is the man who is full of character flaws, always floundering in life and making wrong choices, yet every once in a while manages to do something right. Yes, he has the potential to become a good man. But he isn't one. And until he becomes that on his own (ultimately through the Lord), then he is the wrong type of potential for you.
Ladies, choose wisely. What type of potential do you want to date and marry? Compare his actions and words with scripture. Is the theme of his life humility, charity, and strength? Or is the theme of his life destruction, brokenness and rebellion?
Pick the right potential, my friends.
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