Getting to know a guy you're interested in is like walking a tight rope.
On the one hand, you don't want to get ahead of yourself, give your heart away too soon, and become emotionally attached before you should. But on the other hand, you don't want to protect yourself so much that you come across as indifferent, uninterested, or just not romantically attractive.
There is a place for being flirtatious, open, and letting the guy know by your vibe that you're interested in him. So with that in mind, don't take some of the advice from this post and run so far with it that the guy you like thinks you don't see him as a romantic option!
Here are some pieces of advice that ladies on my Instagram page sent in. I asked them to share from their experiences what they've learned about how to not get emotionally attached to a guy too soon:
Emotional attachment comes with time and communication. The more you talk, the more you reveal and get attached. If you want to be careful, guard your heart and take it slow. Limit communication and time spent together one on one.
Treat him as a brother in Christ by pointing him to Christ, not to yourself. "Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;” 1 Timothy 5:1
Die daily to your wants and desires.
If he doesn't eventually make a move, move away from him.
Never assume he is interested in you until he actually tells you he's interested in you.
Don't read into things. Guys can be nice without flirting.
Go slow and steady. Don't fast forward your thoughts or expectations.
Be in constant prayer about it.
Have someone hold you accountable to keep your thoughts and emotions in check.
Have an older sister in Christ you can talk to about it.
Be real about every detail. No fantasies allowed!
Don't believe the lie that he's the only guy out there for you. He's not.
Be productive with good things that keep you from thinking about him all day every day.
Don't share all your hopes, fears, struggles and triumphs with him.
Bring every thought into captivity.
Ask honest, mature friends what they see and be okay with what they say.
Create distance if you need to. Putting yourself in a different environment can be helpful.
Only talk or hang out in group settings until it's time for deeper one-on-one conversations.
Limit texting or text only in a group chat.
To sum up everything in this post, here is what I believe to be the crux of what we should focus on when navigating an emotional attachment:
Pray for discernment
Keep your desires surrendered
Take your thoughts captive
It is possible to get to know a guy one-on-one and not form an unhealthy emotional attachment, but only if you will be adamant about keeping your mind on truth!
The very best thing you can do is pray and ask the Lord to guide you and give you discernment. And He will!
What piece of advice would you add to this list? Share in the comments so other ladies can be blessed!
Currently applying a lot of what was shared here with a guy I have had interest in. I definitely have had to pull back and relearn the right ways to grow in a friendship with a guy that I also find interesting.
One on one is a difficult place to navigate. I would say that if you don't have guy friends (that you have no interest in) that you would contact one on one, then be very cautious starting with a guy you like. You're more likely to get emotionally attached, especially since it is not something you do normally. So I would suggest developing solid guy friendships with guys you don't have an interest in and then use that…
Love this!
Reigning in my thoughts before they begin to run my decisions.
Seeking the Lord to discern if He is truly in the relationship. If I'm not sure, holding back before trying to control situations and manipulate them to make it happen.
Trusting that God has my good in mind, even if I can't see it.