If you want to be a happy single woman, you must love God more than your dreams of marriage

I was a miserable single woman for years, and one of the main reasons is because I loved my desires for marriage more than I loved my Lord. I loved my dreams with all my heart, mind, soul and strength, not the God who died for me.

You may be wondering: How does one love something with all their heart, mind, soul and strength? Well, I believe it's when that thing becomes the primary focus, the primary desire, and the primary pursuit of one's life.

I was focusing all my thoughts, emotions and energy on what I wanted: marriage & romance. Thinking about it, wanting it, and pursuing it more than I wanted to walk with Jesus. The focus of my very existence was my desire. I was consumed with it! And I was miserable. I needed Him to increase, and me to decrease. I needed to grow to love Him more. But just how does one love God more?

The answer lies in this verse: “We love him, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). We first started loving God when we realized that He loves us. When we realized how unworthy we are of that love. And the way to love Him more today is to grasp more fully just how staggering a thing He has done for you through salvation. Like a flower unfolding to the morning sun, our hearts will bloom into greater love for God when we meditate on His love for us. Let me remind you what is true for you if you’ve been born again. (If you’ve never asked Christ to save you, then these truths don’t apply to you - but they can! I would love to show you how you can be born again! Just send me an email.)

You were in bondage to sin and death, unable to escape, but Christ has redeemed you.

Redemption: the ransom of sinners from the bondage of sin.

Jesus paid the debt and the ransom that you could never pay - no amount of good works or church rituals would be enough. He had to pay it with His own blood! In whom we have redemption through His blood, even the forgiveness of sins: Colossians 1:14

You have been justified by faith - God sees you as if you had never sinned.

Justification: an act of free grace by which God pardons the sinner and accepts him as righteous.

I once heard a preacher describe the word “justified” as “just as if I’d never sinned!” You’ve been justified by receiving by faith His free gift of grace. Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1

Christ took your sins upon Himself and gave you His righteousness.

Imputation: the act of imputing or charging to one’s account.

Jesus didn’t impute your sins to you. He didn’t make you pay for the charges on your account. Instead He paid the charges Himself, and imputed to you His righteousness. How great is His loving-kindness! Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin. Romans 4:8

Jesus bore God’s holy wrath, so that you will never have to.

Propitiation: The atoning sacrifice offered to God to assuage His wrath and render Him ready to forgive sins and bestow blessings.

Your sin deserved the judgement of God’s holy wrath, but Jesus became your propitiation. He became the object of God’s wrath on your behalf. Now you are the object of God’s endless love and favor! Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10

Now God calls you His Beloved, though you were once His enemy.

Reconciliation: The act of reconciling parties at variance, renewal of friendship after enmity.

Because of Christ’s imputed righteousness, you’ve been reconciled to your God! Now He calls you Beloved. He is yours, and you are His. You are in the greatest and most fulfilling love relationship ever. I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved. Romans 9:25

You have access to God’s enabling grace, which is the power to walk in victory over sin.

Grace: The influence of the spirit, in renewing the heart and restraining from sin.

No longer does sin need to have control over you - you’ve been set free! God’s grace enables you to yield to Him in temptation, and not to the flesh. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. Romans 6:18

Meditating on His love for me made my heart swell in love for Him. And to this day, when I feel my love growing cold, if I return to these "tion" words (salvation, propitiation, reconciliation, etc) and remind myself of what He has done for me... the embers of my heart begin to glow again and He becomes all I need. I encourage you to meditate on these verses and concepts more than you meditate on your gnawing desires. Think on Him more than on the show you just watched, the outfit you're going to wear, the little drink you're craving, or the problem standing in your path. When we know His love, we can rest peacefully in His will.

P.S. If you could use some more help keeping your love for Christ burning and keeping your mind centered on Him, my course will show you exactly how to do that.