Both singleness and marriage are designed to bring about the death of your flesh. Whether single or married, each day is an opportunity to crucify your flesh and die to yourself so that Christ can bring about new life in you.
When I was single, dying to myself often looked like:
Having a good attitude and preparing my heart to be able to minister and witness to people at my job, even though it was exhausting and not the job I preferred.
Having a humble and respectful spirit toward my boss, even when I didn't feel appreciated or respected in return.
Helping around the house or with meals while still living at home, being mindful of the others I was living with, even though I wanted to prioritize my own wants (like scrolling for hours before bed and not talking to anyone, lol).
Accepting God's will for me in each new day, even when it didn't always look how I wanted it to.
Choosing to be thankful for all of God's blessings, rather than focusing on the things I didn't have.
As a married woman, dying to myself often looks like:
Getting up early enough to make breakfast for my husband, even if I didn't sleep well the night before.
Letting irritations go and realizing that they aren't a big deal in the scheme of things - even when they feel huge in the moment.
Giving respect even when it doesn't feel deserved.
Surrendering anew each morning to be a servant - a servant of God and a servant of my husband.
Putting my husbands priorities first, even though my to-do list feels more important or is what I would rather do with my time.
Yes, singleness and marriage are designed to kill us. But only for the purpose of bringing us abundant life.
When a seed dies, it is only so that it may spring to new life and bring forth much fruit. You and I are meant to be like that seed.... dying to self, springing to life, and becoming abundant in the fruit of the Spirit.
It seems counterintuitive, but it's the truth: the only way to experience life is through death to yourself. Until you die to your wishes, ideals, dreams, wants, must-have's... until you die to you... you will never experience the rich and beautiful life of fruit God wants to produce in you on the other side.
My most miserable days have been when I've lived in the flesh, following my every desire without thought for the Lord and for others. And my most joyful days have been when I've said no to my own will, and surrendered to the Lord's control. I've had miserable days while dating, while married, while vacationing, while shopping, while curling up with a book and drinking tea, while doing all the things I love....my circumstances didn't matter because my heart was full of self. On the other hand, I've had joyous days of sweet communion with God while suffering betrayal trauma from a broken engagement, while doing the most mundane or stressful or exhausting work, and while grieving loss or hurt or the dreams that haven't come to pass yet in my life.
Sister, the longer we resist dying to self, the more miserable we become. But when we decide to deny our flesh, take up our cross daily and follow Him, we will find the abundant life He promised, the peace and joy of the Lord that passes understanding, and the sweetness of His fellowship and presence despite our circumstances.
Both marriage and singleness are good. Both are gifts. And both of them come with daily opportunities to die to ourselves, surrender to the Lord, and walk with Him. Sister, don't fight the surrender. Fight the flesh. Die to yourself and live for Him.
This is so good, and exactly what I needed to hear today🩷. Thank you Madison!